I nearly died TWICE in the first two months of this year… Anubis had two near death moments this year as well. The second one barely a week after my own.
Some major medical moments between myself, Anubis and Apophis as well. Anubis’s OSO (other significant other) now has regular monthly doctor appointments for the time being. Apophis’s OSO’s family is dealing with major health issues now too.
And within all this I’ve found myself father along the relationship escalator then I expected to be during this year. Anubis moved in. We’d talked about it happening. Not something done easily or lightly on my end. I am solo poly after all. However my personal desire for certain amounts of autonomy isn’t worth losing Anubis over. So between his near death experience and the medical scare I had he kinda moved in months ahead of us having the place I want, need for a living with a partner scenario. Oddly enough things are mostly working just fine.
What I NEED
A home with enough bedrooms so that I have a bedroom with my live in love that we share daily. A second bedroom also shared with my live in love, that’s used when one of us has another love over.
So when Apophis comes to visit for a few days/nights he and I can have the second bedroom. When Anubis invites his other people over they get the second bedroom. Should it happen that we both have someone over the same day/night we’d likely just flip a coin. I’m not willing to kick Anubis out of his home so I can have a night with Apophis, and I’m not going to be kicked out so he can have a night with anyone either. Doesn’t mean we wouldn’t ever invite our other people over into our main shared room, just not as common.
And the second full setup bedroom would also double for bigger group nights when we’ve guests who need a place to crash for the evening.
Also, I still want a bedroom or two/three that I can rent to a roommate, or put up on AirBnB.
He started spending more time at my place then away after his near death experience, about 5 months ago. Officially he moved in the day of my surgery 3 months ago. We are both still adjusting to the change, getting used to the idea that we live together. I kinda miss the times he’d come visit a couple of days/nights and we’d have all that time to ourselves. It’s been a couple months since we’ve had a day off together that didn’t include other people.
I need me time, and I need couple time with Anubis. Things still to be figured out. Right now there’s so much going on that it’s likely to be a few more weeks before either of us can take a moment to figure out WHEN we can take days off just for each other. 2017 has been a wild ride so far, and it’s not done with us yet. Not sure if that sounds exhilarating or terrifying.
In a living situation, I’ll want my own room, and for each of my loves to have their own room. Then we can each visit each other’s room. If the door is open, come on in. Closed doors, knock first. The dream idea is that everyone in the poly family living together had their own space, a bedroom, or a “tiny” house. So that everyone has at least a room that’s wholly theirs they can invite whomever they want to come visit without inconveniencing or stressing anyone else. Just thoughts, not something I’ll likely see happen outside of drawings, but still a lovely picture to be at least