Handfasting 

A sexy story, that’s what this is. One year ago. June 18th, 2016

A semi-long distance relationship. My love, Anubis and I had only just established that we would be lovers again. I had moved closer though still 4 hours away. Better then the 2000 miles away I was just before.

We hadn’t seen each other in months, and my last visit to him didn’t go as planned. Drama and stressful things occurred due to factors outside of our relationship. I had surprised him by coming to visit a week earlier then he was expecting, and he was very much pleased by that. After that bit of stress I asked Anubis to make time to visit me before the group camping trip which was still several months away. I told Anubis that I needed to see him before the camping trip. 

Between one thing and another he didn’t manage to visit. I feel hurt, distant, and kinda decide to not make meeting Anubis the days I’m in town right before leaving on our group road trip/camping trip a priority. After all, I had made every effort on my end to make him visiting me possible and easy.

We chat, kiss, cuddle, but keep intimacy to a minimum, the few times we see each other before heading out. We’ve talked he understands how hurt I’m feeling and agrees that he should have made seeing me a priority. At this point it’s been three months since we saw each other for one day when I was in town. And closer to 6 months since we had quality time when we officially reestablished our relationship. There was a lot of uncertainty between us for various reason, from both sides.

So we get to the camping event, unpack, get camp basically set up, and start drinking as a group. There are 5 of us. Me, my guys, and their other partners.  *(3 v shaped poly relationships)

It’s after dark we’ve all had enough alcohol to be slightly inebriated. There’s this open field across from our camp, the stars and moon are bright and shining in the field. Anubis and I end up wrestling in the grass, kissing, flirting, biting, generally enjoying being close getting fun responses from each other. Anubis is laying on his back in the grass, I’m above him propped up on my arms, but close enough for kisses and neck bites. Anubis has a deliciously firm grip on my lower back, having just been digging his fingers into my back when he says, “let’s do a handfasting” I’m slightly stunned, yet I say ok.

Up till this point I had been saying that I’m not a girlfriend, not a wife. I am the storm, wild and free, I can’t be contained. Or can I? What has changed? What indeed, but that’s a different topic.

Sober the next morning I’m still agreeable to a handfasting, and want to let him know without clueing in the rest of our group, I’m not ready to talk about it. One of the things I struggle with. So I’m on the other side of the picnic table, Anubis is standing with his other partner talking. When they grow quiet I call his name, “Hey, Anubis. My answer is still yes” his grin is the only answer I get in that moment.

Later in the afternoon, Anubis has me in his arms and whispers in my ear, “I can’t get close enough to you”

That night there’s drama, stress. Again the drama and stress are not from within our relationship, however it’s once again effecting our ability to have comfort within the group, and impacting couple time. We do our best to clean things up and settle things down. Once basically settled he and I leave camp together it’s 3, or 4 am we walk to the showers, much talking, all in whispers as if there were anyone able to over hear. By the time we make it back to camp it’s daylight, and yet I’m still in no shape to sleep.

Once everyone wakes for the day, it does happen to still be morning. I sit with Anubis and his other girl and we talk about certain specific events that were an issue the evening before. Ironed out a few things, created a rule for that evening, and peace seems to be made. Anubis had a few things on his mind surround other events and goes for a walk on his own. The rest of us have breakfast and then lay on a blanket under a shady tree. They are chatting quietly and I’m trying to nap.

After a while I get this strange sensation and become instantly alert, standing up I feel pulled to one of the dirt paths outside of camp, so I go off on my own. When I get where my feet are taking me, I find Anubis. We smile and I tell him I felt called and ask if everything is good. He just nods and takes my hand and we walk for a little bit in silence. Eventually I tell Anubis that I didn’t want to intrude on his solitude, pointing out he’d made it clear he wanted alone time when he walked out of camp. Anubis pulls me close for a kiss, says he doesn’t mind my company. However Anubis didn’t try to keep me as I walked away. It was a sweet unexpected moment.

Evening comes, rules are followed, our camp is dark minimally lit by candles. Anubis and I are alone at camp, everyone has left camp in groups of two or three to visit other camps and drinking places. No discussion, we just find ourselves holding each other, hugs, kisses. Till…

Anubis in a deep whisper, “I can’t get close enough to you”

Me, “no not dressed as we are, want to”

He hugs me tighter, and we disapear into his tent. Nude, teasing each other.

Anubis, “there I licked it now is mine”

Me laughing, “I’ve licked you to”

Then we hear others outside our tent, but not in the camp. Must join everyone.

The “v” of Anubis, myself, and Anubis’s other girl leave camp together to visit the camping events drinking hole. She had already been out drinking with a could other people who joined our camp. We aren’t there long when the other girl makes it clear she needs to go back to camp, so they leave and go back, Anubis says he’ll be right back. I’m an introvert, I don’t last long in the crowd of people whom I do not know before I need out of there. Maybe an hour or a little longer and I also head back to the camp. I’m drunk, and a bit miffed that Anubis hasn’t returned, miffed that his other girl got suddenly “ill”.

Back at camp I let them know I’m there, they were talking in the tent they shared. “I thought you were coming back” Anubis, “I was we needed to talk some first and still need time”

“Ok”

So there are difficult relationship conversations, Anubis with his girl, then his girl and I. Anubis and his girl again have a conversation after she and I tried to talk. In the end of all that he and I decide we need to walk so we can talk. I am a very active person and prefer the movement. I’m clearly angry and frustrated, there’s a lack of understanding happening and I’m at the end of my patience by this point.

Anubis lets his other know we are going to go walk and talk and that we’ll be back later. It’s really late at night at this point. She calls him back to her a couple of times before we can leave. Till I finally just pick up some of the camp trash and walk out of camp towards the trash collection point close by. Needing to get away from camp, get myself moving

He finally leaves camp so we can talk privately. It takes several minutes of walking for me to reduce my stress and anger enough to speak. Anubis and I talk out the recent situation, and find a place to sit and talk some more. The conversation moves from the relationship Anubis has with his other, to the one he and I have, and the one he wants with me.

Things are said that dispel my hurt and anger some. I’m left with sadness and frustration. Sad because we need time to work things out, frustrated because his other is so unwilling to be understanding. I had tried to get time with him before this event, she was a large part in why he wasn’t able to visit. I struggle to see why she can’t be accepting of he and I needed time to talk alone, during this event when she didn’t help us get the time in advance.

I’m laying back in the grass watching the stars listening to Anubis, he lays back with me. It’s not long before his hand finds mine. Once we’ve touched I become a bit less reserved. He knows I love him, he also knows I pull away from such drama and anxiety. He doesn’t want that to happen, and he can feel the distance the evenings turn of events has put back between us.

We talk more and he pulls me until his arms his hand lightly caressing my bare skin, we kiss. Our kiss seems to last a long time, full of longing, desire, love, the need we have of each other, or kiss grows more and more passionate, both of us exploring each other with our hands. His hand stops at the top of my panties under my skirt, and he asks softly, “may I?”

“Yes, please”

 Seconds later and we are making love to each other. Then we realise how exposed we are and stop, both wanting, both sad.

Anubis, “come on, let’s go some place else”

Me, “not the camp”

Anubis, “no, I know another place”

Me, “ok”

We leave hand in hand, to the spot he’s talking about, it’s darker, and more private. We hold each other leaning on a wooden surface. Passion filled kisses. Our more primal senses take over and we are growling and biting each other. In our love making we claim each other, with words, mind, and body. Things said that I’ll not share here.

I am his, he is mine. Yet we both give each other freedom. We aren’t controlling in our claim on each other. And we are both somewhat surprised by the force of our feelings, and the way we have just expressed ourselves to each other. So we decide we need to talk some more. And so we go to walk and chat. We are holding each other close focused on each other talking softly. Noticing nothing outside of our own voices. We walk right by our camp and end up by the showers, this time we decide not to go for a shower and instead walk back towards camp looking for a good spot to stop, sit and continue our conversation. 

Being asked in that moment was one of the sexiest things he could have said to me. It was unexpected, thoughtful, and so very hot. The beginning of a much sexier more primal night under the stars together.

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