Blame Facebook

Dear future husband,

Tying the knot is no easy feat with me. I’m as likely to decide the relationship isn’t the right sort for that kind of commitment as I am to get on one knee and propose. So here we are somewhere down the line, choosing to showcase our bond to friends and family.

In my own fashion I’m not so easy to survive with. I’m bold, abrasive, aggressive, blunt. I spout out random shit that may or may not be appropriate. I’m awkward, and struggle to accept all of myself, yet expect you to understand more of me then I accept. I don’t plan things often, and when I do they never go off as planned. I’m a wild ride, the storm front you see on the horizon and never really know when it’ll break. I’ve been through a lot of life, some beautiful things, some difficult, all have brought me to this place, this state of being. Know, learn when to hold me, when to let me walk away, and know you should always walk beside me. 

I love long and hard, and do not let go or give up easily, and I expect the same in return. I give as good as I get. The time and effort you put in you will receive back in my own fashion.

I’m non-jealous, and yet demanding of your time and attention. You will belong to me in a fashion that is difficult to explain. You are mine, yet I expect you to have a life that is all your own. As I will also be yours and have a life that is all mine. I expect you to have a similar desire to hold my attention, and want my time. Miss me as I miss you, and give me space. I need freedom as well as your love and respect. 

Future husband, you will become my home. No matter where I go, what roads we take together or apart, you will be home to me, where you are, there I want to be.

I would like to become your home, your safe place. I want to know you. Your smile, your inner voices. I want to see every piece that makes you whom you are, I know you will be forever beautiful to me. Your scars, your happiness all will be lovely to my eyes. Let’s grow up together, let’s be children together, let’s grow old and terrorize our younger family members. Let’s have a vast family, blood and bond.

Forever yours in life, death, may we stay within the relations that make us both happy for as long as we enjoy such a structure. My heart, my soul

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