add on person versus going out as the couple.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the last year or so as the add on person out with Anubis or Apophis and their other significant love. Some times it’s really easy, other times it’s more difficult mentally. The times you go out drinking, dancing, partying, everyone teasing each other. It’s fun, yet I know I’m going to bed alone, so there’s this sad feeling at the back of my mind.
Seemed like till the end of last year, when I specifically decided to request a couple of changes, I was continually finding myself going out as the add on person, and not as the couple with the other love as the add on. On the one hand I understand not just anyone is comfortable being in such a situation. However there are certain places we all enjoy going and I decided in the last months of last year that it was time to change a few things.
So I haven’t gone out to a couple of specific places as the add on, I’ve gone out twice as part of the couple. One of those times we brought along the other love as well. For the most part things went well. However the other love told me she doesn’t know how I do it. How I can go out with our mutual love, in the charged environment, know I’m sleeping alone, and still enjoy myself, and that I was willing to do that so many times till more recently.
Her struggle ended up causing them to have a bit of an emotional ending to the outing, making things uncomfortable. So now it’ll be a while before I’ll agree to bringing either other significant loves to such a charged location again. Next time we do a three person hangout where I’m part of the couple let’s try something different, and exclude alcohol from the outing.
I do not like my nights, as limited as they are, ending with tears, mine, hers, or my guys.
My big thing with the other loves in my fellows life’s has always been, “do not put me in a situation that you can not handle when roles get reversed”